Tuesday, May 29, 2007

The woman

Are some people just meant to be in our lives, to play a part, even after we think we have lost them or have forgotten them? What is the role of accidental meetings, coincidental phone calls (the ones that go Hi!! oops, I’m sorry, I mistakenly dialed the wrong number...take cares), coincidental mass emails sent by mistake to an address which still lies in your address book which you’ve never been able to delete, because you just couldn’t. Why is it that these people keep coming in and going out of your lives? What is the Universe trying to tell us? That we should stay in touch. We should get back together. What?

I had a meeting like that. I had a meeting like that after 10 years with someone who had been my everything once thanks to my grandmother who played a match maker for us. It was as if the Universe wanted to test the limits of my endurance, thus played that trick. Why does man think he can conquer the world, when he crumbles so easily in front of a single card being dealt?
She was on the arms of an old known from Dehradun.

Now the reader would be saying "Grow up. It was 10 years ago" and I will tell my reader. "You are right, you are so right". 10 years is a long time to think that you’re finally over someone. That you’ve moved on. That you’re finally over those rushes of heady emotions that landed you in trouble the first time. That you know you’re more mature, more stable, know what you want out of life. But you know what really defies your own reality. It’s that email address you never deleted. It’s that stuffed toy that you got on your first date that somehow is still kept in your room. It’s those diary entries about her that still get read occasionally (of course you were just laughing at how stupid you’ve been. Nothing more). It’s those pictures that you still have of her (you keep them still because they will teach you the meaning of a true relationship and make you a more learned person)....and when you saw her once in the crowd...you avoided making eye contact. That was only because you didn’t want her to be hurt of course. or remember you...but then she’s probably forgotten all about you TOO....

What a tangled web we weave, when we first practice to deceive…

I saw him bring her over to me. At that moment perhaps I would have traded everything I owned to avoid that meeting....or perhaps to be the person on whose arms she was on. Our eyes met and except for a slight flicker of recognition, she didn’t show any emotion at all. I too was calm on the surface, but underneath...it was as if at that moment a hundred volcanoes had decided to explode together and were spewing their hot lava everywhere.

He introduced us. Not knowing that I already knew more about her than he could ever find out in a generation. There’s something about finding a soul mate. You just know what the other person is. You never have to explain yourself or even tell another about you. You just know. I looked at her and she never had to tell me what she had done in all those years. I could feel her pain, her joys, her essence....I just knew...and I knew that she knew everything about me too. After sometime I just excused myself and left.

It’s amazing the way some people are a part of your life. How they just happen to pop in at intervals decided by the Universe. It’s ironic because it’s the same universe that conspired to take those same people away from you, once. I don’t know why though.

I’m reading my diary right now and I’ve written "She’s Perfect" Just like the one who chose her for me.

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