Jassi from Covad

Now this is a story all about my friend Jassi

Who went from Covad to Denver Drinking Lassi

He was a GL in Provisioning

Pious Sardar never sinning

He got inducted in Covad research lab

But always complained "why's life so drab!"

He was constantly surrounded by geeks and nerds

With DSL and Routers their only words

He was a hard-core desi, I must say

But his wildest spirits were being kept at bay

Our desi veer could take this no more

So he decided to knock on his neighbor's door

His neighbor was a girl of Italian descent

Who spoke with an intriguing Brooklyn accent

Her name was Gina And I wish I had seen 'er

Cause the way he had described her any guy would dig her!

Jassi and Gina started to date

And would hangout together till pretty late

"Meri Gori, Meri Sohni Gori" was all he'd say

"No one can come in between us - no way!"

But notorious Aunty Chugalkhor was on the prowl

She sensed something in the air - was it foul?

Oh yes yes yes - She was definitely in luck

This, of all her stories would be a slam dunk!

She spotted her nephew in the mall

And that too ... oh gori de naal !!! (AYE HAYE! Oh HO!)

Well that surely did make my Pummy Aunty's day

A successful field day for her, I must say!

She headed straight back home to make a call

Undoubtedly to Jassi's mum in Balowall

Jassi's mum could not believe her ears

"Oh mera beta," she cried, wiping her tears

She tried and tried to get hold of Jassi

But each time she'd call his answerer would beep!

Where on earth could the dude be?

Well that's your imagination - Don't ask me!

Mum's patience finally started running out

So she left a message giving him the clout

"Oh Jassi GORI noo chhadd dey

Te vapas aja aithay!"

Jassi was obviously taken by surprise

Who the hell had blown his guise?

But now was not the time to guess

He had to quickly get outta this mess

He drummed up the courage to call his mum

But before he could speak, someone shouted "YOU BUM!"

Of course it was mother in a terrible mood

And now was not the time to be a dude!

"OH tu Amrika vich kee karda phirda

Murrh ke aja te tera viah kardiyay aithay

Ik kurrhi hagayee barrhee piyarree

Te puree seva karugee teyree!"

But Jassi was clearly not impressed

It was Gina with whom he was so obsessed

He told his mum that that was no deal

And that his piyaar for Gina was the one for real

Once again mother hit the roof

She could not believe that Jassi was such a goof!

She hung up the phone

And in the harshest of tones cried

"Mundiya - you're now on your own."

Just the next day...Jassi and Gina tied the knot

And their happiness together was easy to spot

The days went on ...

But with hardly a year gone ...

Jassi Singh started to realize

What was happening To his wallet's size!

Was Gina just after his money?

Or did she really mean it when she'd say "Oh honey!"

A few rotten thoughts crossed his mind

But he thought he was simply just going blind

But one sad day, Gina spilled the beans

She said she was leaving for New Orleans

She had met a guy called Tom, And so wanted a divorce

Which left our young veer in such remorse

He remembered his mum's favorite words:

"Goreeyan da koee parosa nayee hunda"

And thought to himself: "Wasn't I a brainless munda"

The divorce settlement did take place

And he lost half his assets - Let alone his face!

His despair could always be seen in his eyes

But everyone knows that "desiness" never dies

He soon met Deepak sir who taught him to rhyme

And ever since then: "ARRANGED MARRIAGE, BUSS ARRANGED MARRIAGE"

- has been his constant chime !!!!!!

Jassi from Covad Part2



O Balle Balle Balle ... YO YO YO!

The Covad service is back again

With another wild rap to drive you insane

So whoz the story 'bout this time?

Well its all 'bout Jassi - me and deepak Sir's Rhyme

Remember our GL who married a gori?

Well he's back again in yet another story !!

Refresh your minds when the dude got dumped

When Gina suddenly said ciao and left him stumped

Now a year has passed since that sorrowful day

And our veer has since come a long way

He wrote a dozen letters to his dear mum

Saying "Maaf Karna Ji, I was a real bum!"

"Arranged Marriage, Buss Arranged Marriage is the only true way

That an ishq connection will forever stay"

"Valentine's Day is almost here

And the smell of ishq is in the air!"

"So mummy ji, please find me a sohni vohti

Who'll make me the saag and maki di roti"

His mum read the letters and wept with joy

What wonderful words to hear from her boy!

"Oh Jassiya, mera beta, aja mera raja

I forgive you I forgive you so aja vayee aja"

"There's a beautiful and dutiful vohti for you

So chhaytee vapas aja and we'll find her for you"

Jassi jumped on a plane the very next day

And was soon back in B'lore eating paronthhay

Mummy ji then opened the album

And asked Jassi to make his selection

There was Sony from Ludhiana and sweety from Patiala

And Sonia from Samrala and Rosy from Kormangla!

The photos of girls went on and on ...

And Jassi kept looking until 'twas dawn!

It sure was hard trying to choose

So Jassi thought... Let's meet them all there's nothing to lose!

His head was now spinning outta control

As he pulled out the dice and began to roll!

Three showed up, so who could that be?

Yep that meant a trip to see Sweety!

They got to sweety just before four

And sweety's father opened the door

They talked and talked for a quite a long while

And man, was it great to see everyone smile!

But then her dad learnt all 'bout Gina ...

Could Sweety marry Jassi? ... Na jee na!

Jassi's mum tried real hard to change his mind

Hoping that those events could be put behind ...

Mera beta is a top Tech in Denver city

Working for Covad making plenty of money

He drives a Toyota -Covad di Gaddi!

And has a beautiful Bangla in B'lore city

He is a caring and loving young man ofcourse

So let's not talk about his innocent divorce!

But sweety's father was hard to convince

And in his eyes, Jassi was no prince!

So then to BTM they went to see Chandrayee

But Jassi messed up when he said: "Ki haal ai Kanta Bai!"

She glared at him right in the eye

And Jassi knew right then it was goodbye!

So the barfi and laddoo were still nowhere in sight

And everyone CSP bay was dying for a bite!

In Kormangla, Sonia was his mother's first choice

Who just loved to hear the sound of her own voice

She talked and talked and talked and talked

So Jassi just gave up and out he walked!

And then 'twas time to meet Raunak Tasneem

A kurri from Kolkata who was only nineteen

She opened the door and said: "Hi, aap kaisay ho?"

And Jassi looked up and said "Oh no!"

What had happened to our piyaari boli?

That was the problem with the folks in Bomanhalli!!

In Ludhiana city, Jassi then met Preety

An interesting girl though she looked past thirty!

And then down the road he went to see Reena

But her name sounded too much like Gina!

Mummy ji was now getting upset

On seeing how picky Jassi could get!

"Oh tu Jinny gori de naal na compare kar, rajay

Punjabi larkian vee bahut sohnian hundian ay

Yaad rakh...beautiful te dutiful ... Ay kurrian gulab de phul vargian hundian ay!"

So next in line was Sony...

A pretty young woman with a Home Science degree

She was cooking in the kitchen when Jassi got there

Wow! Now his cupboard at least would never be bare!

But she brandished the belna in such a way

That Jassi signaled his mum "cholo chaliyay!"

Jassi was now quite depressed

His life was more than totally messed

Rano turned him down because he was clean shaven

and Mano said no because he was five-feet-seven!

His mum's favorite words came to mind: "gulab de phul"

But now all he could think of was: "gobi de phul!"

Jassi decided to hit the local dhaba

And sat down to have an alloo da parontha

He just had taken his second bite

When he suddenly choked on a lovely sight

There she stood the woman of his dreams

Balle oh balle ... the queen of queens!

She was the prettiest woman he had ever seen

Prettier than any model in Vogue magazine!

But then he remembered he was in Ludhiana

And asking her for a date was totally mana!

There sure had to be another way

To at least say hi before she walked away

Jassi's eyes were glued in one direction

What was to be his plan of action?

But right at that moment came Jassi's biggest blow

When a kid ran up to her saying.."Mummy mummy, let's go!"

Jassi raised his arms in despair

What rotten luck he had to bear!

He called up Denver Team the very next day

Saying he was packing his bags and coming away!

I hear out there that girls are real fine

Who think that dark guys are totally sublime

So all ye ladies in the house

Please help my veer find a spouse

He's losing his beared at an alarming rate

So he's got to marry before it's too late!

We from repair too are longing for some jalebi

And how can you forget - a wonderful bhabhi!

So please give Jassi some sound advice

So he never ever needs to take calls and yes roll dice!!