" Big B with Big Black Cat"Mother's Day was started by a woman named Anna Jarvis of Grafton, West Virginia, U.S.A. In 1907 Mrs. Jarvis began a campaign for the nationwide celebration of motherhood. At first no one paid much attention to her, but gradually churches and local town organizations began inviting her to speak at their meetings. Soon her notions caught on throughout the country, and on May 9, 1914, President Woodrow Wilson made the holiday official.
My mom is knight in shining armor for me and worst nightmare for many...
Now I have made this statement I will stand by it…
She never shouted on me when I blew away almost half the face of my school chum… nah she has given birth to a man and man is supposed to be rowdy plundering and destroying wherever they go…But being male candle of my mothers abode I am not allowed to take part in cultural activities like song or dance…those are for girls…“Amma look at Michael Jackson???” “Kaun woh… that black poor guy who grew up to be a rich white woman… you want to be that???Give me your measurement let me prepare Ghagra Choli for you and buy bangles and bindi too”
Nor I am allowed to talk with girls and that’s where the nightmare starts not for me but for the females who are unfortunate enough to know me and fool enough to call me up…
So I stand up and rebel against the mother driven genocide
“Kaalu!!! (pet name given by my mother to me), “ smell your socks!”Should I? Should anyone? Would you?
“Abe negro look at your hair!” She is racist with meWhy mine? Look at David Beckham's. Look at Johnny Depp's. Look at Zayed Khan's or John Abraham's. Are their ammas squawking?
“Hai Hai Imran chuttad chupao (Hide your bums)”
Duh. Got globical bums. Will show. She shouts if my lungi is bit above my lungi… don’t ask me how she see my bums if my lungi is bit above my knee caps. And yes, I WEAR LUNGI as night dress
The problem with my amma is that she starts off alright. Then somewhere along the way she lose it. Become mindless. Becomes abusive calling me names… Invent new abuses. Kaalu… Negro… Naatu…Kutte… Kambakht… and then Chuuuutadya… STOP IT!!!!!“Why amma why me?”And she says “I married your father because I wanted children; imagine my disappointment when you came along…”
“Imran! Look at your mark sheet!”
Desist. That's the last thing I would recommend you look at -- blood pressure and all that.
“How do you get marks like that?” Quite easily. Effortlessly. Yes, that's the word. Don't remember trying. They come on their own.
Anyway, the long and short of it is this. It's official. You can call me African Pygmy with bums!!. As in … don’t wanna repeat. My mother does. I don't know why my parents bothered with the Akeekah(name giving ceremony) ceremony, getting a Maulwi, finding the right letter of the alphabet to start with et al. They should have just stuck to their gut feelings after that first gush of “EEEks isn’t he bit too dark!”
Don't get me wrong. There is nothing old fashioned about my amma. In fact, my mom is so New Age that she's almost future tense. She believes in speaking English with gardeners, Auto rickshaw wala…paperwala etc and Urdu with rest of the educated… She loves being on the top of conversation.. any conversation… she wont attend any function if she is not one of the speaker in it.
Her age??? she was married when she was just a kid… infact once she told me when she was my age she had a son of my age… go figure it out what she meant… to me it only means my father is lot older than my mother…
But she is my amma we have seen and experienced ups and downs of life together… No, unlike others sons I don’t say my amma is the best mother in this world.She is neither the best mother nor the best cook of this world, but that’s the best a guy like me can get…
I hope she understand it was very painful to forget chris and look beyond…
Your honor, I rest my case.
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