In the dead of the night

It has been almost three weeks since I am living alone. Three weeks since my room partner has gone back to his native place. It’s always a problem to live alone. Nobody to talk to, you eat alone. But my biggest problem was sleeping alone in that big house. I did not have any problem when my partner was there in the other room. But now it’s that eerie feeling you have when you are alone. It’s like you always feel you are being watched when you are alone.

Actually its frightening that there may be some burglar, some ghost lurking somewhere in the house, just waiting to pounce on you, A dead body left in the middle of the dark room for you to find out. I am practical person and for all practical purposes, I know that ghost, giants, witches, vampires and other dangerous creatures do not exists. Although burglars do exist but they are not so frightening and dead body don’t climb steps to 1^st floor. But in the night, it’s different. You are super high on codeine and at times your brain play games you imagine things at times you hallucinate. All that you know practically suddenly become void. I just hope that, I tire myself so much that I sleep the moment I lay on the bed and to accomplish this daily task I slog in office for 16 hours walk from all sloshed with codeine and pills. Peace at the cost of health and sanity not a dime more not a doze less.

It’s amazing how many sound you can hear during the night. The swoosh, the whoosh the tinkling sound and my favorite, the sound of footsteps. Amazing, just amazing. Even your eyes start to play games with you. The harmless tree outside your window does look like something very scary. The statue kept in the corner, did it move in the dark? Why does the clock have to make so much noise? Is someone moving outside my bedroom? The curtain moved, was it the wind or somebody behind it? Did anybody just went in the toilet? And how come you will always remember the horror movie you saw a long time ago.

According to Discovery Channel, in the night time you tend to be more jittery. Especially, when you are alone. The slightest sound can make you jump. I completely agree to it.

When I was in 6th standard, I saw my first horror movie. It was "Jaani Dushman" (Sanjeev kumar in a bear Suit). I was terrified and could not sleep the whole night. The next day mother warned me against watching any horror movie. The same fear gripped me again three years later when I saw "Woh Kaun Thi?” I strongly believed in ghost and supernatural then. Now I have grown up and do not believe in ghost. But the abnormality of the night still terrifies me. I still get up in the middle of the night in cold sweat, my heart beating faster. The sound of silence in the night strikes fear in me. At times if you have taken less than the daily doze you see weird dreams I have seen my mother burning me up, pigeons pecking on my lifeless body, rats gnawing at my feet…

You can call me coward or just living to my natural instinct, but I am afraid of the dark. So, now I get up in the middle of the night, put on all the lights in the house and sit in front of TV watching the news channel (I dare not watch anything) where somebody is still discussing whether Saddam had weapons of Mass destruction. Chuck it world, leave him alone you just hanged him.

And I survive till morning. Nothing happens. No ghost, no vampires hunting for my blood. I really hate my old landlord at times. Why does he have to get up in the middle of the night and go to the toilet making all the noise with his feet moving around? Can't he do everything before he goes to sleep? Old people at times are super pricks irrespective of whether they are your family members or not.

Or is there really something out there? You never know!! And I don't want to know!!
I am scared of dead and at times I am scared of things alive.