Following very closely to the Mama’s boy we have the people suffering from Bahuguna Syndrome. Their deficiency gets them attracted more towards the four legged ones than the humans. This kind deficiency is more prevalent in females than males (At least I have never seen any porn with a man humping a dog or a horse). I personally know few females who suffer from this Syndrome. My friend Jubee (name changed) started with voicing her thoughts against animal cruelty, then it was more of a intellectual revolutionary way of attracting males. Something like saying “Hey I love dogs and I will surely love you” and before she knew her house was a kennel, now she got her mutts snap on her facebook profile. One more friend of mine Arpita (again named changed) is a class apart, her love with her mongrel is multi-facet. Her dog is her friend, lover, daughter, roommate, bitch everything. All possible relations which can be taken up by a human is filled up by her pet. Off late my wife has developed an uncanny affection towards facebook aquarium and its rubbing on to me as well. I understand a part of this syndrome the addiction part you start by exploring different traits of the animal and then suddenly you find you understand your pet more than you understand humans or humans understand you. One leads to another, confusion and drinks leads to sin and then you have a dark secret to keep.
Who they are: Single (female mainly) who are preoccupied with their pet to the point of obsession, much to the annoyance of everyone around them who doesn’t share their four-legged (over)enthusiasm. Found everywhere from Farm houses and barns to cosmopolitan cities.
Identification: Cat/Dog/horse hair on their clothes, in their house, in every food they cook. They talk about their pet constantly and gets noticeably jittery when conversation veers away from it. They not only name their pets but also give names to their pets sleeping mat, their food bowl, their way of taking a piss etc and yes they discusses their pet’s stools openly. All pet owners don’t have this syndrome the one suffering will look intently on the amount of shit coming out while normal beings look away.
Why they’re single: Like the baby ducklings who will follow a human in lieu of a feathered mother, they end up projecting their innate need for human companionship onto their animal. This puts them in a weird spot. On one hand they don’t really feel the “need” to be with someone and on the other they can’t have sexual relations or a normal way of communication with their pet, which leaves them vaguely dissatisfied. Frustration grows towards human and they start digging more in their master – pet relation. Usually it has the same kind of impact on the animal as well. They get rejected from their breed, they don’t feel they are pets but a member of the family. Few advantage in this relations works towards keeping them single forever. The code of silence on the dirty deed is forever kept which encourage them carry on with it. They not only start talking like their pet after sometime but they also start looking like their pet. Now who would like to date a pug faced girl.
What they can do about it: Either they partner up with someone who is also a pet freak of their level, or is such a softie they will also obsess over their little mutt after sometime. Let bygones be bygones and put their pet up for adoption, anyway your pet can never tell it to any human how he was molested. Buy toys those battery operated ones before they buy their pet, I don’t know but it might help. Or go for a shock therapy where you kill, cook and feed your pet to the people you hate most.
Epilogue: Larry Flynt of Hustler fame confessed his first sexual encounter was with a chicken! He later killed it to avoid suspicion (www.manufacturedcontempt.wordpress.com) How many pet death you know?
2 comments:
as a matter fact i know one. One guy from my highschool tried to "make love" with goat. At the end he finished stuck with goat at hospital and goat is killed at the end so they can help him het out :-)
ye.. Few years back I read about a girl and her doberman brought to this clinic in a stretcher both were put under a blanket to avoid the embaressment... few secrets cant be buried u know
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