Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Heartbreak

Funny thing about heartbreak, it doesn't hurt at all! Trust me on that…if you still can. Atleast not when you do it to someone else, nope! I didn't feel a thing. The power of making someone cry for you is godly.

So, I broke up with her. Alright so we loved 6 years blah blah, best thing that's ever happened to me blah blah... Don't care. Magic's gone. We're over got go and say final bye. And just like that, I broke her heart. I watched her tears fall and I thought… hmmmm… I am lovable.

And just like that, I was FREE. Free! Funny thing about freedom, you never know what it is until you give it away. So, I gave it away...I left the city and the state. And, on those cold lonesome nights in my first flat in this godforsaken city dipped in coconut oil...my mind drifted to her.

Nope, no heartbreak here! Bangalore is a land of opportunity.

I cuddled my pillow at night instead of her…in my dreams. My friends here were aquaintence, not a girlfriend. Not a lover. Not a companion. I'm so glad I ended it when I did. I'm not missing her at all.

Meanwhile, she waited. She waited weeks and months. She waited one full year, and then she gave up. Giving up was easy and quick for me hard and bitter for her I like to believe. Then she rebuilt what I had broken; she found that other dreams awaited her besides the ones we had made together. She found a life, and she no longer waited for her ever late in showing up boyfriend.

Back in the land of opportunity, I smelled her perfume on a passing girl. I heard her name from a friend. I felt her touch me as I sat alone on shopping mall stairs.

In the real world, she laughed and loved with her new boyfriend. She gave him all the things I could have had; he gave her all the things I denied.

Nightmares from this anew life did not haunt me, but dreams of her face did. I unlaced my shoes each night and I made my bed each morning. I found myself surviving from task to task, from mundane day-to-day activity to mind numbing city chores. And I thought of her.

So I called her. Hi, how ya been? She's been wonderful (got hit by a bullet train). She got a new boyfriend now, enjoying her new life. She’s doing this and doing that and oh by the way she did this too. I've been thinking about you.

She thought of you from time to time. It was good back then, but she gotta go, new Mr. Right is calling, goodbye. And just like that, she broke my heart.

Funny thing about heartbreak. It doesn't hurt at all. She didn't feel a thing. If you don’t trust me trust a trustworty girl!!!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

hmmmmmmmmmmmm.... thts what u feel dont u????

Anonymous said...

what goes around,does come around...
beautiful read...as usual