Friday, August 31, 2012

Perils of a Good Relation

I guess all good relation comes only in 1 flavor and that's bored &monotonous. My life is full of good relations and hence it's sans any excitement. I graduated from being bachelor & lonely to married & bored to death around 3 years back.

Although, there were few short rainfalls of bad relation aswell but then again it never lasted more than few months. Whereas Bad relations ..Aah they are exciting!! you never know what's going to happen to the next day. Tomorrow you might be caught by her husband or father. The girl can burn your cloths while you are sleeping or poison your food or leave a big scratch on your car. You are always alert senses working to perfection. It's like an oral sex with a cobra, you never know what's in store, next moment is unpredictable... wherein in a good married relation life is a clockwork. You wake up at the same time, have breakfast at the same time, same topics of discussion.....same time and duration of dinner and same time to bed...everyday year after year. To make it worse you gel with same set of good relations. They are uptight, picky and they can blabber ... They go to a restaurant and keep talking till its closing time. Bachelor and lonely was at times better for me...I go to a restaurant... it can be the cheapest one with no roof..start testing my stomach by first starting with whatever is leftover on the table by the customer before me order whatever is available in good quantity and leave without anyone noticing. Hygiene, taste or delicacy is not the's hunger and crowd. Back in engineering days we used to go a hep restaurant frequented by girls and order just 'Rotis' to eat with the 'Achaar' already on table... 

Marriage spoiled it all... you can't nibble on food already on the table... you can't pick from the floor...ghost of organic food has started haunting your life. Healthy living... this healthy living has given me nothing but heart and pocket burns. I don't want to go to a gym or have those fitness routine. What happened with all those Fitness Gurus and Yogis?? they are all DEAD... I don't want to die in perfect health... when I die I want to assured that I have stretched my life as far as I could. Doctor give one look at my dead body and tell my family he couldn't have lived another's a miracle he survived so can't smoke while eating...not even in your own house...And what's wrong with our government... making it a hobby of increasing cigarette cost... Wills once used to cost 15 rupees a pack (you don't know because people who knew are all dead now) but it's now 50 rupees(it's 49 actually but you never see that one rupee coming) ... I don't know what group of people think when you increase the cost of cigarette people will smoke smoker does that... we just stop buying other things. 

Back to a good relation married men are PETS... I keep finding more reasons every month to support this statement. My wife recently added one more talent to her collection of irritations...she has taken up the cause of making me more social... "see her husband likes reading books/ is also an engineer ... you also like make friends" . She doesn't understand that her husband don't flow in that direction...introduce me to a girl..she likes flirting like flirting ...there starts a great friendship... 

One thing which irritates me the most in these long long 3 years of our marriage is.. I gained 10 kg... got a double chin, my forehead is meeting the back of my neck now and few scattered remains have raised the white flag...but Mrs. Ashraf she is radiant as ever. In-laws', rain, sun, Indian air and these passing years had no effect on her. She has an appetite which my humble salary can barely cover but still she got that size zero to boast. People in our complex think I am her man servant...some took me for her driver... Once a security guard stopped her to ask if I am harassing her because I was following her everywhere in the mall.  

There are some good in marriage as well.. perhaps if I am not butchered in my sleep tonight will discuss that.

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