Taming the Lion - Rise of Mrs.

On a good day I am around 30 kg more than my wife… maybe overweight for a fellow of my age and size by 10 kg or so but I am like a snake when it comes to moves… I am very hard to catch even in a small room … I can make people tired and loose hope just by making them try catching me circling around my sofa. I cannot only dodge flying objects in kitchen or bedroom but have also mastered the art of dodging constant nagging and verbal abuse.


So much for me on the defensive mode… when I can get on a attacking position… I am like Tyson and Bruce lee mixed into one with a dash of Dharmendra. My upper cuts jab, slices are much more deadly and in more numbers than my wife. My voice gives the final blow… when I sneeze our doors shake… I don’t need a phone to command someone who is within city limits…

…And still I don’t know how I lost my position…

There was a time when people used to call me The Boss… You the Man was synonym to me and now they ask –“Is your wife in?” They see my face and say 'check with your wife… ask your wife…' or someone who bloody feels he is more closer to me say ‘You can or you cant do it”… and to give it a seal of authority they add “I asked your wife”.

The house which I pay with my sweat and blood... she controls it like a ring master training, treating and punishing her pet. I am just a floating image of my former self. A castrated, shaved lion with his tail cut and made to eat cornflakes daily is no beast to be afraid off… and the beast is tamed… if the master thinks of making a salad … beast simply jumps and starts peeling and cutting onions and cucumbers. Master is thinking of making roti…beast is on with water and flour punching and making the dough…

But this beast has an organized persona what I really can’t take is my wife throwing my stuffs everywhere… my shoes in that shoe rack… cloths in the almirah… towel outside for sunbath??? I like every thing within an arms distance from MY SIDE of bed a concept that she doesn’t understand from her side.

I also don’t understand the concept of the saying 'Thou be very cautious during those couple of days in a female month' - which usually I guess lasts for a fortnight. “That’s because you don’t understand the pain Mr. Ashraf, the pain woman have to go through every month”. Well, something I couldn’t tell her on face… I know pain… I know pain so HIGH up the ladder that’s its not in any wives pain-chart. The pain I have to go while sleeping and she wants to cuddle… to have that ticking timebomb… womb of all bad ideas which she calls her head on my arms for hours and hours making my fingers go numb blood freezing on my hand can’t move can't twitch can't scratch because WE ARE CUDDLING.

Aah I was trying to write something about love and happiness and fun called marriage… problem is it doesn’t came that promptly… its hidden…guess got bit off track this time. Next time would try harder.