Monday, March 12, 2007

Are some people just meant to be in our lives, to play a part, even after we think we have lost them or have forgotten them? What is the role of accidental meetings, coincidental phone calls (the ones that go Hi!! oops, I’m sorry, I mistakenly dialed the wrong number...take care), coincidental mass emails sent by mistake to an address which still lies in your address book which you’ve never been able to delete, because you just couldn’t. Why is it that these people keep coming in and going out of your lives? Its been long time that you are fighting with her but still when ever you go for dinner she is sitting on the next table with her new friends or standing in the queue couple of agents ahead you. Out of 150 odd people working with us he or she will come in your shift in your cab what is the Universe trying to tell us. That we should stay in touch. We should get back together. What?
I had a meeting like that… meeting like that after 8 years with someone who had been my everything once thanks to my godmother who played a match maker for us. It was as if the Universe wanted to test the limits of my endurance, thus played that trick. Why does man think he can conquer the world, when he crumbles so easily in front of a single card being dealt?
She was on the arms of an old known from Dehradun.
Now you will say "Grow up. It was 8 years ago" and I tell you all. "You are right, you are so right". 8 years is a long time to think that you’re finally over someone. That you’ve moved on. That you’re finally over those rushes of heady emotions that landed you in trouble the first time. That you know you’re more mature, more stable, know what you want out of life…or the tricks god play with your life.
But you know what really defies your own reality. It’s that email address you never deleted. It’s that stuffed toy that you got on your first date that somehow still lies in your room. It’s those diary entries about her that still get read occasionally (of course you were just laughing at how stupid you’ve been. Nothing more). It’s those pictures that you still have of her (you keep them still because they will teach you the meaning of a true relationship and make you a more learned person)....and when you saw her once in the crowd...you avoided making eye contact. That was only because you didn’t want her to be hurt of course. Or remember you...but then she’s probably forgotten all about you TOO....What a tangled web we weave, when we first practice to deceive.
I saw him bring her over to me. At that moment perhaps I would have traded everything I owned to avoid that meeting....or perhaps to be the person on whose arms she was on. Our eyes met and except for a slight flicker of recognition, she didn’t show any emotion at all. I too was calm on the surface, but underneath...it was as if at that moment a hundred volcanoes had decided to explode together and were spewing their hot lava everywhere.
He introduced us. Not knowing that I already knew more about her than he could ever find out in a generation. At least that’s what I thought or still think. There’s something about finding a soul mate. You just know what the other person is. You never have to explain yourself or even tell another about you. You just know. I looked at her and she never had to tell me what she had done in all those years. I could feel her pain, her joys, her essence....I just knew...and I knew that she knew everything about me too. After sometime I just excused myself and left. At one point of time they come closer to you than your heart beat and then they suddenly say delete my number from your address book… I curse the day when I first talked with you…don’t ever call me up or try to meet me, they make the rules... They always made the rules because they always ruled your heart.
It’s amazing the way some people are a part of your life. How they just happen to pop in at intervals decided by the Universe. It’s ironic because it’s the same universe that conspired to take those same people away from you, once. I don’t know why though. I’m reading this right now and I see more than one girl in these pages. Whatever… and I’ve written… "She’s perfect" Just like the one who chose her for me

No comments: