Thursday, August 23, 2007

Cocaine - Chasing the Dragon

Finally I have a perfect reson to try this big dragon. My only friend for last 2 years in this techno city was leaving town for a year next day. 2 days back we met a guy who had the right contacts, who was discreet and who can arrange right things for right kind of money. My first thought was bloody its costlier than diamonds but then u cant get high on diamonds. So be it...

Everything I needed and wanted was there.

My graveyard – my room was complete... 4 pillows, a bottle of cold water, smoke packets, match box, ash-tray... privacy, silence, darkness... everything what I needed. They say it’s your bad company which pulls you here. I never needed a guiding light to be here. A tripod covered in glass, topped with a razor blade, white powder, a spoon, frooti straw, a smooth glass plate. I looked back and forth between downloaded sheet of paper with instructions how to do it and what lay on the table. Fine we got the stuff we got the directions how to use it and we got the remedies as well just incase things go out of hand. Excitement was unbearable am I going to meet my death like I have never met him before what if its an overdoze, what if I am not able to control my actions...nah I am too experienced with these stuff to blow my lid off.

I chose the powder, carefully putting it on the flat glass plate dividing the 3 tolas of powder into 2 equal quantity putting one back in the plastic pouch making 4 small 6 cm scratches on the glass table with the blade...its fine there is always a first time...just follow the instruction...i filled the scratches with the powder swiping it with the blade. Now we have 4 white lines and now its time to chase the dragon.

Like always,s I started before any guilt feeling or remorse can hit me and shake my soul.

Closing my eyes... putting one end of the chaser in my right nose and the other end on the first line, and then a long long drag that pierced my soul.

I am sorry D...

It was like I have inhaled fire through my nose, my whole body melting into my nose and through the windpipe falling into a dark abyss. There was something drastically missing and before I can think more about it I chased the dragon again. Upon their return the ritual began again.

I didn't know whether it was of good quality or bad. I don’t know what is its true market value. I had not tried it to see if the quality was better or worse. I just used the amount I'd advised to. When it hit my brain I knew I am smashed far more than I have ever imagined I can be smashed by anything. Every sound in the room and outside amplified to ear-shattering decibels, or seemed to. The traffic on the main street through this god forsaken city sounded like a war raged there. This is a horrible city D, Chris, strangers, language all together makes up a very bad mixture. I fell down from my sitting position and it took ages for my body to hit the ground. I could see the words floating in air, I saw lights chasing each other. I remained conscious, watching without comprehension the world felt so alien to me. The convulsions eased as I stared like a wounded deer at the specter of death descending on my body. My friend came back, looking into my eyes as if to say goodbye. He was a good friend. Will miss his daily presence in my life.

Consciousness began waning as the sensation of my friend shaking me came and I heard the voice saying "breathe." And then I understood I wasn't breathing, but didn't yet understand that my autonomous nervous system had failed. I was too high to breathe without forcing myself to do so. The instinct to live kicked in as I hyperventilated, almost losing consciousness again before my friend calmed me.

An hour later we laughed on love, commitments and expectations while we both enjoyed a more carefully measured hit.

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