A key fault I have, and I can only talk about one fault at a time, is the tendency to get busy. I often find myself chasing my own tail. What I will do with it when I catch it is beyond my understanding. However, this notwithstanding, I fall into the trap time after time of getting too busy for my own good.
The faster I try to go; the less I seem to accomplish.
I am trying to live too fast… a bit too fast… and by living so fast all my future is in my past and I am buried before I am born…
Aah that’s the thoughts I am talking about… there are few thought I just go burying before it even takes a definite shape. At times I am too scared of its outcome and at times I have a gut feeling I wont be able to give that thought a definite end. It’s not what you call a writers block… No Sir not at all… thoughts are always there pleading to be put in words its just the commotion of too many of them which I am not able to sort.My mother used to advise me to wake up early to get fresh pleasant thoughts, that can be pondered and wrote. After all, "The early bird catches the worm."
Alas! Being the turkey I am, I have no idea what I'm going to do with the worm when I catch it, particularly if it's early in the morning when all I want is to sleep and finish the nightmare I was watching. Yet, I can often be found imitating that "early bird" scurrying around with my thought. Just for the heck of it. I don’t believe my mother or anyone when it comes to it. They talk about the betterment of society or human being rather than what’s good for my writing urges or me. You take an advice from someone how to live your damn life and it’s a Catastrophe. I cant think of more adequate word for describing the implementation of someone’s advice in your own life but catastrophe... Sure, I've had catastrophes before in many colors and form. But this one is the wicked stepmother of all catastrophes. Implementing someone’s advice in living your life or walking your path.
I guess I will go back to playing with red ants near my bed.
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