MANupulative woEman

There are many areas in which being men we have long enjoyed a tactical advantage over women, thanks to the fact that through a combination of genetics, evolution, instinct and plain old good fortune, we are pigs… ever procrastinating pigs!!! And washing clothes doing laundry is one of the key areas.

My favorite jeans… I have not washed it for 3 months now and my maidservant wont wash it because she says it will clog the drainage. Call it my fault or uniqueness of my persona being man who stayed in engineering hostel for good 4 years and more it’s imbibed in my super pleasing personality.

A man can live happily in a confined space with a mass of unwashed garments so funky that his shirts wrap their sleeves around his ankles as he walks past, hoping he will drag them to a bathroom for wash; and his undies, which have developed primitive bacterial feet, crawl around and arrange themselves on the floor to form the words FOR GOD'S SAKE WASH US. Statistics says, every year, thousands of innocent pedestrians collapse while walking past male-occupied hostel, overcome by sock fumes. That’s the male aura or aroma what ever you want to say.

So in most relationships, women wind up doing the laundry when we guys get married or think better and get into live-in relationships. To compensate, we men assume full responsibility for more masculine, but equally necessary, household tasks, such as making sure that the TV channel is changed regularly and fridge is never out of codeine or beers.

Unfortunately, the traditional division of labor is now threatened by a new manipulative breed of women. I identified them from an online woman forum, one of the mean manipulative female reveals that she has developed a shocking tactic to get her husband to do laundry. A tactic that threatens to undermine the very fabric that underlies the foundation for the infrastructure of our way of life, as we know it.

She uses S-E-X.

''I tell him it gets me hot,'' she writes. ``Every time I need laundry done, I put my arms around him and tell him how excited I get just watching him. I tell him if he folds it and puts it away, I am beside myself. I make love to him right by the washing machine. I have found that he folds laundry better than I do.''

Men, we must ask ourselves: What if other women start using their wiles this way? What if the Indian woman as we know start adopting it? Are we, as a gender, so easily manipulated, so mindlessly lust-crazed?

We most certainly are. A man will do pretty much any idiot thing if he thinks it gets him noticed by the dame. I am not proud of this, but once, in my younger days, I jumped from my balcony into the guava tree risking serious injury or death, because I truly believed that a specific woman standing on the road eyeing the fruits would be impressed and therefore want to bear my children.

Q. Did it work?
A. Of course not. No sane woman is going to knowingly perpetuate balcony- jumping genes.

Q. Would you have done her laundry?
A. I would have eaten her washing soap with Surf powder if required.

But it need to stop or else we would wind up like some of the more pathetic males in the animal kingdom, such as the male praying mantis, who allows the female praying mantis, during the mating act, to bite off his head.

Is that what we want, men? Are we willing to trade our independence -- and, yes, our dignity -- for a few minutes (let's be honest, men) of cheap physical gratification? Are we that weak, that pathetic, that STUPID?

Let's remember to soak the clothes at least an hour before we wash it boys