You've turned over your locus of self-control for the collective good. You've given up your mind and soul for others. You have adopted the standards and norms that are acceptable to many people.
You have in fact, punctured your independent soul.
Why do you feel like you've entered the twilight zone of arrested development and whatever potential you once had, is gone with that last blow?
I know you are expecting some words of comfort and sensitivity. Like an orphan puppy in this big bad dog eat dog world you look upto every dog for a bit of comfort. Forget it… all are puppies and it’s a dog eat dog world alrite. You made the huge mistake of puncturing your soul. Now at almost any depth your logic and reasoning falters. You have been called a great person by your co-workers, neighbors and immediate family, all of whom are your biggest fans… with hate filled sneer. Now that should tell you something about where you are heading.
You are the bane of human kind. Employers hire you because they need bodies. They know that at your best you're good for showing up and behaving somewhat responsibly until you leave. That 's it. You are known as a generic sheep with a herd instinct with no voice and at your best just a part of the frustrated crowd.
At some point in your life, probably just before or after puberty, you lost the locus of control on yourself. You ceased to be the one in control of your destiny and have instead decided to let others do it for you, a task which they have always eagerly accepted.
Over a relatively short period of time, your perceptions have become increasingly distorted. You come to conclusions like the sky is falling, everything is the fault of the higher management or government and everything in the universe is equal to everything else.
As your thinking further deteriorates, you begin to fantasize that money; oil, machines and computers drive every thing in this whole world. You believe and accept these nonliving entities control your living life.
At work, you presence is less felt and absence seldom known. You always show up and you always do what you are told but you produce little and contribute little. Your creativity and innovation is zipped. Several times you have been passed over for promotions assuming you would have the decency to quit, but you didn't. As your opinions, attitudes and beliefs become more hardened and negative, you find more and more folks getting irritated simply by your presence.
You accept concept such as 'all humans are equal and your society rules are just.' As you mentally repeat this idea over a period of time you start to believe it. You don’t see or believe in individuality… everything is done by team… members who are unmarked, unchecked for their capacity. Eventually you deny yourself any sense of excitement or accomplishment as you are convinced it is bad to ever do anything solely for yourself, except of course the bathroom visits. Because of your views; active, productive folks like the one you wanted to be, they start avoiding you altogether. You are a non-entity in your dream community.
As you finally descend into the category of 'loser' you find that anyone that is not a loser avoids you as if you are plague. The only ones that can stand to be around you are your fellow losers and there comes a point where even they stop seeming very friendly... you are surrounded by millions of losers with mechanized life like yours. That’s your community where no one likes no one and together you make a great team, which is ever expanding in numbers like parasites and going to shape the future of the world.
Like the critics that criticize because they can't create, you criticize those that stand out and haven't succumbed to the “kill your individuality be a team” credo.
Here you have another reality check… Your partner, doesn't necessarily leave you for another man or another woman, they just leave you. They don't need an excuse let alone a reason... and you come up with the worst one liner “ we broke up with mutual consent but we are still good friends” . Yes you have heard this statement many times before and have even used it in your life… Yes you are a cream of your society.
You lose interest in things around you, you become less interesting. Sadly, at some point you begin to realize that you are such un-fun that all your friends and family are trying to avoid you. They see you as mix of sad, stupid ever cribbing bore.
Your dream of having a secured luxurious life with decent job, marriage, home, family has caged your golden bird and finally killed it with mechanized precision. Now you are a part of society, which look forward to collective growth and welfare… in a nutshell human made over burdened hypocrite life. Its your fault you gave strength and added a number to this growing plague.
Understanding that it is all your fault might not make you feel any better but that insight just might be your only way out… if you know what I mean.
1 comment:
Good One Bro!!! keep it up
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