DaadiJaan - A good human and a better wife

Memories of my childhood once in a while float through my brain, I come from a large family, who due to unknown reasons have always stressed on the importance of family values. My Daadi god bless her soul, was the founder of this theory. She took time to make me sit near her during annual gatherings or flip through family photo albums and teach me who was who... teaching me why it was important to know your blood relation… to give them respect irrespective of their social or financial standings. To talk in the language they know… to ask for things which are available. She also used to tell me stories of when she was young...stories of her daddy, stories of her brother and sisters.

She belonged to a very rich family and married my grandfather from a poor family because of his education. She always told me she was educated till 3^rd standard in Urdu madarsaa but always stressed on the importance education if one wants to gain respect in society. I felt education for her was Lawyers, doctors and engineers; if you are not one of the three you are bloody well illiterate. Education was the only way for her to uplift your society.

Although not well to do by today’s standards, she was the only source of livelihood for 2 women who ended up begging on road after her demise. None of her well educated kids could help that. Good she died before that.

When I think of her, I think of love. I think of pride… a determined woman with a strong voice of a speaker and a leader. And yes a lovable grandmother who had a long active sex life which was a matter of pride for her.

She was a hard worker who raised 11 children, five boys and six girls. I think although not much educated she was a great home maker and an exotic cook which none of her daughter in-laws could equal. After she died at the ripe age of eighty-eight, I was going through her things, and found an Alim certificate (Muslim Scholar) from one of her treasured trunk.

An Alim who decided to work as a housekeeper, and called herself illiterate instead...how could I never know? And why didn't she tell me? I guess, sometimes there are some things left out, for whatever reason, we just keep some things to ourselves...

I still keep to things the way she told me about her… an illiterate loving grandmother who was an awesome wife. It doesn't matter, because the memories make up for the things I didn't know during her lifetime.