Writers are a different species. You may think it's strange, but most any writer will tell you it's the truth. I'm not talking about the journalist at your local paper or the student who's being forced to participate in creative writing. I'm talking about the people that just have to write. Those of you (and you know who you are) who write in journals, write letters, type out the wordiest emails in cyberspace, those of you who have always struggled with word limits, you know it's true. We are different.
There are times when I feel completely out of focus, as if the world around me is looking at me through drunken blurred vision. These are the times when I can sit at my desk and try to concentrate on my work (I'm not lucky enough to be a full time writer) but I feel as if the work is in a different plane of existence. I can see it on the desk, I can interact with it if I try, I can hear the sounds of the office surrounding me, but I just can't seem to make a connection. When this occurs, I am beginning to see that the solution is writing. It can be compared with natures call. There is something boiling within your system and you need to take it out be it constipation or dysentery, you need to take it out…
For me sometimes just grabbing a notebook and jotting down my thoughts for 2 minutes is enough. Sometimes that's all it takes to bring me back to the same reality that everyone else occupies. Other times, however, the distance is a little greater. These are the times when I feel an almost physical need to sit in front of the computer and let my fuzzy, disconnected, out of focus mind wander. Because when it wanders, it frequently meets new people… new ideas… new perspective lateral thinking.
These sometimes give me an idea to expand on, and sometimes pull up a chair and introduce themselves and tell me everything there is to know about themselves be it virtual humans or ideas. They are all like human beings for me and we become like old friends, I know their childhood memories, their favorite foods, their clothing styles and their lifelong goals. I know who they're dating or not dating and why. I know why they were born when they will die and at times know will they leave a mark when they are dead or not. With these men and ideas you are on a different tangent you are a new evolved breed. A breed where good or bad doesn’t exist. If you don’t have new thought you are brain dead… go fish.
As a writer by nature, there are other times when I visit my own reality but I'm not in front of a notepad or computer. These times can come while I'm in the shower, while I'm in solitude… mostly when you are on High road. These visits are often the most entertaining to me at least for the moment but they rarely turn into anything I could actually write about.
And then there are times of writers block when your mind just goes blank…phuck.
All and all it’s a way for me to stay alive in my own way and make people believe you are a normal human being.
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