GROOMing Dreams

Like all kids I also had aspirations of becoming someone when I grow up... but unlike others who wanted to be engineers, physicians, actors, pilots or as a friend of mine said sucking up to his boss that he dreamt of being a Oracle - Business Intelligence – Onsite - Business Analyst ever since he was a child; I never aspired for such superficial goals. Being mature beyond my age, I always dreamt of being a Groom...

During school days, when nobody thinks of their career in terms of amount of money or salary they are gonna to earn, I had done all my calculations. Based on the average height of my nuclear and extended family I had mentally calculated how tall I would grow and how big a garland made of ten rupee notes I can wear. Add to that the money filled envelopes I will get for 'salaami' I would be raking in hell lot of moolah while my classmates would be making pittance as doctors, engineers, analysts....etc. However, as I grew older and became more mature, I realized that with inflation as it was, this strategy might not work. I would have to wear a garland made at least of fifty rupee or hundred rupee notes...

But by the time I finished my school, three things changed. One- I became more mature. Two- Inflation increased. I calculated that at current rate, I had to do the Islam allowed four marriages with five-hundred rupee note garlands to maintain the lifestyle. Three- A bloody change that shattered my dream, rupee note garlands became out fashioned in our society... I was bloody devastated.

I might have gone into depression had I known what depression was. Because of naiveté, and not knowing what else to do, I picked the broken pieces of my dream. As sailors focus on distant objects when sailing to keep from feeling sea-sick, I decided to focus on a (superficial) career like everyone else, while turning the pieces into a flame and burying it deep inside my heart where reality can never extinguish it. Even dead bodies don't remain below the sea for long and here dream was broken... yet alive... time and again, the dream would break to the surface.

The current generation of young men has mapped objectives as milestones in their life such as complete higher education, find a job, make a career, earn some money and then get married. Being a non conformist since childhood I had no such road map. My top priority was to get married at the first opportunity whereas other objectives were secondary in no order or priority. Fate had been cruel during my childhood hindering and rebuking my dreams through rising inflation, changing fashions etc... now it had declared open war.

First year college crush... coming years multiple crushes... job crushes... neighborhood crush... flight/train/bus journey crush... monthly crush...daily crush... wannabe crush... I never looked at any girl for friendship or companionship... it was always an honest and pure intention of marriage. Needless to say my mature and sensible thoughts were not reciprocated in the same way by this crazy world. Rejections were plenty... battles were lost within hours.

The nearest I reached my goal was with this magical dame who found me outdated, not so fashionable and hard to adjust with my conservative leanings, beside she wanted space and creative freedom which she felt my lifestyle cant provide. Reasons a plenty for a absolute rejection its a different story that she got married in a joint family big enough to have their own zip code straight out of Suraj Barjatya’s movies....


Few days back I met this elderly person during my daily evening walk. After some small talk, he asked me “Are you married?” At first I was taken aback by this personal question coming from a stranger. I said “No”. He sighed, “I don’t get why this new generation delays getting married. I have a friend who married late. Its not that he didn’t want to get married, but belonging to traditional family where marriages are arranged, he was waiting for his mother and sisters to find him a suitable bride. His mother was old and sisters were married off so no one was there to do the bride hunting. The progress was very slow. To cut the long story short, when he finally got married, his bride was WAY PAST HER PRIME!” (With special emphasis on last four words). Since then I am missing my mother and sisters who were never born...and till the issue is resolved I am taking a different route for my walks....


.