Disaster meets

Picture a scenario where the mighty you run into your old girlfriend while you are with your wife.
--Don’t feel so mighty right

A series of emotions will run through your system, predominantly… black outs. However, if you follow these simple rules my good man… you might very well be able to escape this unfortunate meeting unscathed.

Let's say you and your wife are shopping at the mall. (Actually, men don't go to the mall to shop… Stop inventing disaster) All of a sudden, coming in the opposite direction, you see your ex-girlfriend.

First, don't try to hide the fact that she was a former girlfriend. But, if you can duck behind a large, potted plant before she sees you, do it. You can always come up with some genuine excuse to use on your wife as to why you are skulking behind a large fern. ("Oh, I thought I saw rare insect.")

Next, always introduce your wife to your ex-girlfriend, emphasizing the word "ex", and try to avoid using such terms as "former main-squeeze", "love bunny", or, "dream-girl." Then, introduce your ex-girlfriend to your wife. The pitfall to watch for here is getting your wife's name right. ("I'd like you to meet my wife mmm aaaa mmm Mrs. XXXX.")
NOTE: If you've gotten to this point in the introduction, it is highly advisable that you find the closest sharp object and slash your wrists.

Keep in mind that as all three of you are standing there, smiling stupidly at one another, you, the husband, are not the only one experiencing all of these blistering emotions.

Your former girlfriend and wife might aswell be challenging their imaginations. For instance, the girlfriend may be looking over the situation and asking herself, "Why didn't I duck behind that potted plant when I had the chance?" Or, she may be looking at your wife and observing, "The poor woman. I wonder if he's putting her through the same nightmare I went through."

Now your wife may be looking over your ex and pondering, "So before me he was dating a water buffalo?" Or, she may be wondering, "Poor thing. I wonder if he put her through the same nightmare I'm going through."

And the MAN in you driven by his over-inflated ego, can only ponder one scenario…"How can I get the two of them involved in a romantic evening?" As enticing as this may seem, friends even though it may contain the potential for an entire column of its own, the key thing to remember here is to end this conversation as quickly as possible.

This can be done in a number of ways:
1. Fart and disperse the crowd – your girl friend breathing the pride of independence and your wife resigning to destiny
2. Remember that you forgot to collect the credit card from the billing counter
3. Find the closest sharp object and slash your wrists.

If the situation should develop that the two women involved would like to have coffee or lunch together, under no circumstances are you to leave them alone for a moment. The thing to watch out for in this situation is that while you're having coffee or lunch with two horrible women, the male ego kicks into overdrive. Avoid reminiscing. ("Remember the night we made love behind the lion’s cage?")

Saying goodbye should be as brief as possible. No kiss. However, if your ex leans in for one… no tongue... most likely she is trying whisper quick thanks for break up in your ears.

Also, when parting company, as you and your wife head in one direction, don't turn around to take one last look. To be honest the one who left is nowhere near to the one who is walking at your side ( Volim te Puno Mrs. Ashraf)

Anyway seriously folks follow these simple rules and you may be sleeping in your own bed again within a few, short weeks...