Complexity of Female Mind and the Myth of Casanova

It seems to me that a disturbing number of the men (Alas that includes me as well), from the nerdy virgin friends to the Facebook stalkers that masturbate to pictures of mums hugging their 3 year old kid, are convinced to a fault that they are the masters of seduction. Way to go brothers!!! Lot of people feel I am lame dying cows’ last stinking dung but still that doesn’t stop me from feeling I am a Casanova.

Ladies, I guess you know what I am talking about. Lately I was reading life of Casanova... and apart from female flocking around him... I felt his life was dull. What surprises me is majority of female population still dig on his charm than any other dude riding his glory...

I wonder do we really know what it takes to be Casanova, the man who defined sexy male before we wobbled into the pudding like band of chattering monkeys high on Viagra? Are we truly savvy with the female population? And most importantly... do we really know the secret of winning a of better half’s heart for lifetime...?

Well I took the liberty of doing a quick survey with unfortunate female population who still stick with me... to find an answer that best reflects their personal view on this issue and read a collective WOMEN’S commentary on it, along with their not so humble judgment.

What is the key to getting woman heart?
A. Sex appeal
B. Money
C. A large one that fits her lock (size of the key does matter. Ain't no chochweeet little key gonna open great Indian woman’s padlock.)
D. Give her a big house and all the space the feminist bitch within her wants
E. Kindness and sincerity
F. Persistence
G. UNNNNHHHHHHHHHH
H. Chocolates/ roses/ gifts as frequent surprises
I. “How should I know”/ “You tell me” in other words lead kindly light always
J. Bloody mixture of all and more

Over all it turned out instead of Rock star like us SHE wants a fragile lost retard to baby sit.... Classic miscommunication... Before I go further just a quick sincere advice never ask any female what’s a perfect guy according to them... they bloody have the potential of making God feel inferior once they really start rolling their tongues on that.

Now If back to the list: Casanova scale (out of a perfect 10):

A. Sex appeal
Well, straightforward and true to some extent especially in global terms I got good 7 point coming from Warsaw on this. I guess it becomes shaky on its flight to India; bloody nothing less than everything is accepted here and to make it worse most of we Indian guys do NOT have that inherent ability to exude the aura of Don Juan on a whim. In fact, most of us do not have the inherent ability to exude anything but a lethal case of body odor.

Global Casanova Scale: 6.8
Indian Casanova Scale: 4
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B. Money
Best put by my friend from Boston
“...now I ain't sayin’ im a gold digger, but i ain’t hangin' with no broke nigga...”

Global Casanova Scale: 5
Indian Casanova Scale: 4
That’s a relief you really don’t have to from a royal family...
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C. A large one that fits her lock (size of the key does matter. Ain't no chochweeet little key gonna open great female padlock.)
This is a bad one if you are an emotional male and sensitive male like me you can skip this one...Females overall find it disturbing and at times annoying about how much we jiggle our keys around in our pockets... mmm its something like “No, turn it the other way... the other way, now jiggle it to the left, no that’s not right, now push, come on, argh forget it— I'll open it myself

Global Casanova Scale: 3
Indian Casanova Scale: 2
Anyway it’s an eye opener... it takes more than a set of balls to make things work
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D. Give her a big house and all the space the feminist bitch within her wants
This time the are filthy bloody lying all of them...globally.... ask any married man and he will tell you what it’s “LIE of the CENTURY”

Global Casanova Scale: 2
Indian Casanova Scale: 2
Remember the twelfth commandment here “Thou should never trust someone who bleeds every month”
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E. Kindness and sincerity
When a female tells you good men are either dead or they are Gay... they actually men it my friend... They love Homosexuals traits towards life... alas they don’t see even gays fancy us...the word kindness and sincerity in their dictionary if you compare with your own thesaurus it means... impossible... look at the score they gave

Global Casanova Scale: 10
Indian Casanova Scale: 10
Here we stand at a cross road... you have an option to celebrate celibacy all your remaining life or turn Gay... if you still want to hump your brains carry on...
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F. Persistence
This one is good believe it or not either they didn’t understand the word persistence like the way we define or they really love stalker and perverts... Can you believe the actually like the guy who refuses to understand that they have already blocked him on AIM, yahoo, MSN and still persistently IMs her with his 34958795476 different screen names. This is the guy who leaves her messages on phone four times a day. They have high regards for him... so if u cant achieve impossible stated above take a camera.. a knife and start stalking your girl... chances are she will like you

Global Casanova Scale: 6.5
Indian Casanova Scale: 7
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G. UNNNNHHHHHHHHHH
Here is a learning mate...if you play this dumb with you girl... they feel your evolution is not complete PERIOD

Global Casanova Scale: 1
Indian Casanova Scale: 1
I guess they didn’t give negative because its not an option
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H. Chocolates/ roses/ gifts as frequent surprises
World finally meets here... we all know it

Global Casanova Scale: 8
Indian Casanova Scale: 9
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I. “How should I know”/ “You tell me” in other words lead kindly light always
This is much better option than being UUNNHHHHH.... This says you know where you stand on the scale of understanding women (you actually don't stand near the scale.... you just observes from a distance with an extremely confused expression on your face). “You tell me” makes you half Casanova my friend.

Global Casanova Scale: 8
Indian Casanova Scale: 8
This is the take away point!!!
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J. Bloody mixture of all and more
Close your eyes and shoot anywhere and you will still hit the bull’s eye here

Global Casanova Scale: 10
Indian Casanova Scale: 10

Yes, there are additions as well...things unheard of... qualities unknown to male-kind... and if I start putting them down here... it would surpass Google database... so lets forget it.
Thanks to all you females who took part in this survey... may you rot in hell for being such uptight...demanding... unpredictable..@#@$$%%^%$&%*^&*&(mailto:%5E&#@$!@@!