Depression

I love it when people tell me that depression is self-induced and that I need to come out of it... and this sagely advisedly comes from every talking human being.

Of course! Why didn't I think of that? Yes, bloody I have chosen to feel like part of my head is missing. I want to have this sense of estrangement and isolation from my own family and acquaintance. Thank you so much for reminding me that I'm a failure as a human being because I haven't got the good sense to snap myself out of this indulgent state of misery.

Just a gentle reminder: Nobody wants to be depressed.
Depression is filthy and that's a technical term for something not very nice. If I was going to choose a mood to indulge in, I'd go with wildly confident or blatantly creative, hilarious super human kind of mood. I would do things to make myself and other people laugh because laughing makes me feel good and depression doesn't. Depression's badness goes all the way through. I can't eat, but I put on weight. I feel tired all the time but I can't sleep. I'm unbearably lonely but I can't talk to people. I'm lost and bit frightened and I want to know what's happening to me but I can't ask for much assistance because of the sagely people who surround me.

Nobody with half a brain would choose depression, and depressed people are usually the smart ones, so they obviously haven't chosen it.

The pain of depression is every bit as real as the pain of pounding your thumb with a hammer. Its pain on the inside, not something you can point to. Not something that's going to show up on an x-ray, but it's there and it's real.

Now the weird thing about depression is that you can laugh when you're depressed. You can make a joke or be with friends, but it's like being with those friends while you are 5 codeine shots down or on a bad overdose of Charas. Everything is little bit delayed in action every thing is dull. The air isn't quite clear and you can't quite touch people (or let them touch you) even when it looks as if your hands are together. For non-addicts I guess it's a bit like someone with brain tumor or cancer going out for a family dinner. Looks okay but the disease is still there.

There are many causes for depression. It could be caused by part or all of a cocktail of hormones and neurotransmitters (it’s a big word), the affects of disease or injury, or circumstances.

Depression is real and you can't ignore it by saying you refuse to believe in it. That's like standing on the edge of sky scrapper roof-top and announcing that you are about to fly because you don't believe in gravity. It's nice to be confident, but few things are just not going to work.