Truth about Lies

Women say that above all they want honesty in their relationships.

Cart full of Cow dung.

Let's face it my good ladies, if we guys were completely honest with you they'd spend more nights sleeping outside with the dog. Buts that’s not why we superior, caring sex lie. We have to lie lest tears become your constant companion. If you really understood your man you wouldn't ask him questions that put him between the ditch and the well.

One of the most common questions a woman will ask her man is "Do I look fat in this dress?" You know perfectly well whether or not that dress makes you look fat - so what you are really asking is "Can I wear this dress even if it makes me look like a buffalo"? How can any man answer that question with honesty and not expect a week of the silent treatment and no sex?

HE HAS TO LIE.

It's the only way out. With experience he becomes quite adept at telling you what you want to hear and is able to embellish his lies with flattery and you come away feeling fantastic about yourself.
Never ask why Ms. Humpty Dumpty had such a huge fall isn't that what you wanted in the first place? You needed your little ego stroked didn't you? So if you're the kind of woman that loves to ask loaded questions to her man then you are essentially teaching him to lie and to do it convincingly. How about this one: Do you think she's pretty? Come on, now you know you are setting him up. You're messing with his head. You know its a scam - he knows it's a scam but his back is to the wall and what do you think he's gonna do?

LIE.

But I am personally still ok with all this because I don’t have a dog nor a female snores next to me. What irritates me is her favorite question “What are you thinking”
One rare moment when I am not looking towards her angelic face or I show a glimpse of happiness in her absence sitting silently… she pops the question. I am not entitled to say nothing. No my good readers you cant be thinking nothing.

“Common Ashraf you must be thinking something it cant be nothing if you don’t want to say it or hide… its fine…” and the vocal slaps of my lady love goes on…

Hold on!
She and all from her sex underestimate us. Men are Zend masters. I can sit for hours looking nowhere thinking nothing it’s my goddamn favorite hobby. I am bloody born to do nothing. Anyway even if I was thinking by rare chance its gone into hiding never daring to reach my mouth to be uttered. You can’t say I was thinking about that spicy movie with that spicier girl or your friend who never stops at enticing my taste bud.

I was thinking about my good fortune that I found you (God forgive me that’s the shabbiest lie I ever said)

The point is: The man sees lying as a way to keep his relationship intact while the woman sees it as dishonesty and claims she wants the truth. Sure. Whatever. The only honest relationship is when a woman truly understands the male psyche and is secure enough about herself not to ask idiotic questions that she knows will force him into lying.